I wish I had the answers...

To open this evening's missive, I'd like to address a question that was posed the other day, and I'll not say by whom, but this individual asked, "Why are you blogging about this? Who the hell's gonna' read it anyway?"

A fair question, I suppose. The answer? Many. There are friends reading these words that have known me since I was six years old. Though I might not have seen or spoken with them in many years, they remain interested in friends and friendship. I thank them for that. Most of them also know Pop from years past.

Beyond that, when one is sitting alone in a quiet house, with no one to talk with, writing (at least for me) is cathartic. I made the choice to not post a bunch of "Dad updates" on Facebook for a reason. I wanted to give people a choice to read about it, or pass on it. Admittedly, I do alert when there's something new and if you so choose to read about it, it's up to you.

So, speaking of something 'new'. Pop had a massive thrombotic stroke last evening. Thrombotic, meaning that it was not a 'bleeder'. Simply put, he had a blood clot that entered the left side of his brain and, it has rendered him non-verbal, paralyzed on his right side and the right lung (the one with the cancer) has been rendered non-functional.

Ergo, it's no longer just about his cancer. It's two-fold now, cancer and a major stroke. The question is how will it, or can it, be treated? That is the $64,000 question. The answer to that question we do not know.

In detail, Pop has cancer. That we've established. Now, in addition, the following factors have come into play;

Thrombotic stroke, which carries the following side effects:

Ataxia-Loss of muscle coordination.
Dysarthria-Speech difficulty. He cannot speak at this time.
Dysphagia- Difficultly swallowing. He's currently on a nasal gastric tube.
Hemeballism-Involuntary muscle twitching. There has been a reduction since last evening.
Nystagmus-Uncontrolled eye movements.

There's also evidence of Miosis and Ptosis which are respectively, an involuntary contraction of the pupil and a drooping eyelid. Both were definite evidence of a problem last evening, whereupon I summoned the ambulance.

(Sorry, I've taken six family /friends phone calls since the end of that paragraph. I started this message at 7:15 if memory serves.)

When the ambulance arrived, Pop was still cognizant and communcative, he even got on the gurney without assistance. Later though, according to the EMT (about a block away from the house) he became unresponsive and they rolled red and siren the rest of the way to BMH-Desoto.

When I arrived at the ER, Pop was thrashing and in the above mentioned conditions for the most part. As of today, there is little change.

What happens next is up to God. If His choice is life, I'm on the front line. If not, well, Pops wishes are well known to me and they will be honored.

God love you all. I know I do.

Drew